Monday, March 9, 2009

chronic champagne nightcap + venting = Nirvana

Well first off i know i went M.I.A from this shit for a while, but nothing Blog worthy has really happened for me. 
Ok so heres a little recap:

Friday: Walked from downtown to Little italy/ Soho With Eric... had dinner at this italian restaraunt. lol we were the only dark skinned people in that spot if u feel my drift.

Saturday:  Saturday school in the a.m --_-, then went with the madre to look for prom dresses in central islip =].

Sunday: Movie with the Homie --_---------- blah.

Today: Chloe Morgan Fulmore! woot woot lol 

Okay so people lately i have been realizing things about myself. when i have a problem (usually guy problems) lol i stress it and try to make things right you know, but it seems like the more i try the less i get. Truthfully i am SOFT as hell lol the littlest things hurt me. I could be talking to a guy for two days but if he leave me after those two days i would most likely cry and then go blog about it, then put in my status that i wrote a new blog, hoping that he would see and go read my blog and then magically have a change of heart and call my cell phone and profess his undying love for me lmao yes thats my fantasty. its that serious with me. Hopeless romantic is not the word! more like passive aggressive obsessive compulsive romantic. And the thing about this is that i admit it. I know i do crazy things for love. i know that i go hard so to say. and i let these guys know! In my besty's terms "they signed up for this". And yet they still apply early, resume in hand lol They  forget that they 'bagged' me regardless of all the baggage i tell them that i come with. in the first day that i start messing with a guy, i hear a thousand stories.. stories about where he be, who he with, what he did, how he is, who he is...things that i myself never knew was physically possible. they be Like ahem 'i saw so and so in queens with so and so doing so and so" and im like SO!!!!! 

when will i finally find something real to rest my head on. like somebody who wont hold it against me when i just need someone to hold me. someone who has no problem everytime i wanna be wined and dined, taken out on a friday night to spend a little time. 
I aint Gonna beg you:
-everytime i need someone to be there when i had me one of them crazy days
-everytime i want someone to treat me like they always said they were gonna treat me like
-everytime i need some huggin and some lovin' but your busy so i don't get nothing

I am so sick of being patient...i am NOT here for you to take it when you want to take it. You guys are WEAK...not in the sense of strength but if you cannot handle a girl taking care of you, holding you down, wanting the best for you, supporting you with the constructive things that you do, plus having everything that you can possibly want in a chick DONT HIT ME UP! I am too fragile for Games ={ ..and yall wonder why i read my books lol